Our school is being audited. This means the Arkansas Department of Education is observing our classes and administration each day this week. The range of outcomes remains unclear, but I’ve gathered that the somewhat mysterious threat of “state takeover” looms over us.
I’m sure they will write a positive report on what they saw today in my classroom. (Sarcasm.)
While I had an observer today during third period, the class refused to stop talking. Two of my students also continuously left their seats to wander aimlessly around the room. I looked like the worst teacher ever — and I probably was. Then, after the observer left, a kid who is usually really well-behaved decided to spout a loud string of criticisms of another teacher at our school. The rant was largely incoherent except for the repeated use of the word “faggot.” Here’s your disposition, son.
I don’t even think the kids realized what they were doing. They weren’t misbehaving out of spite or anything like that; this is just a troubled class in which everyone is either related or has a crush on someone. Today their conversations bubbled out of control. I really lit into the class upon the observer’s exit, and the students’ faces and actions revealed a mix of petrification and remorse.
I just wish they would think beyond the next minute of their lives. Just think. I don’t believe I’ve ever been so furious with — or, indeed, embarrassed by — my students as I was today. Their behavior today was horrendous, and I feel like I made both my school and TFA look bad. Something is really wrong here.
I’ve never felt in such need of a break.
